my secret (horribly written )
yo me again, ya see this and the first one were written on the same day — not that you need to know though. now that i have skimmed through this website a little ive noticed that its for people to talk about problems, ya know not soley but i thought hey thatd be fun. so anyways here is just a thing thats been on my mind. so im 14 im acutely aware that being a teenager really really really sucks i have so many emotions and feelings that its easy to get lost and just generally loose yourself, ever since i was a child however i thught i was different for some reason in my head i was the chosen one that was better than all the other 10 year olds, i didnt talk to many people and tried to focus on me. i always thought that id reach a certain age were life would just begin and the mundane introduction would cease and my grand adventure would finally begin, however my 15th birthday is in two weeks and im not sure what i want to do anymore, ive realised that in the current day there is no adventure, theres no great evil i was born to defeat and theres no great struggles to overcome im just plodding along through life. i started to notice this in year 7 when i finally received a phone after leaving junior school, looking back before then my life was like a movie, a sad movie for sure but a movie none the less, either way there was a very clear classic tragic backstory, and absent/overworked and busy father and a mother trying to cope with the loneliness, it all kinda seemed like it was leading up to something that my adventurer would FINALLY begin. and then it stopped. honestly just one day it stopped the movie was over and to be frank it was pretty shit. it was around the time i thought i wanted to live forever, i figured it out as well, if you achieve enough if the world one day knows your name then even after your dead my legacy will carry on, i will live in books that people study and my greatest moments burned into the minds of the world. but now im 15 and im starting to realise that greatness, whatever that might be, isnt for just anyone, why should I? arent there others far more deserving ,absolutely, and yet i have this burning passion within me that i must at any cost mean something that everything everyone has done for me will be worth that i can look at my life as an old lady and be content that i will live forever.
sorry that took a weird tone, im also sorry for the spelling mistakes if i look back then ill end up deleting it. ive never told anyone this, ive hinted at it but no one has caught on fully. enjoy my little secret :) .
